Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
