I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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