Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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