She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
