I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
