i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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