This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i think i just lost a toe
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