I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've blown a few things in my day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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