We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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