Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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