thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
