that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize