hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
