you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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