do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
