Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
