his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
