saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
