Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
