yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
