its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
