My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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