Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
