I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
