what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
