Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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