ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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