It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
