I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
