Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
