no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
third nipple confirmed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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