I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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