I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
