Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
