I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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