Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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