He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
