i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
