It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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