So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
