Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
