as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont even know how to be here
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
