'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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