Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
