I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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