Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
