Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
