yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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