Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
