kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's paint friendship bongs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I still have a little drunk in my system
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
