SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
