I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
