i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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