RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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