when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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